Meet “BJ”

Hi there.

I’m B! and I’m J! And we affectionately refer to each other as “roomie”.  Together we make up “BJinVancouver”.  We are two single professionals in our late twenties/early thirties navigating the dating scene in Vancouver, BC.
Here you will find our hilarious, cringe-worthy, jaw-dropping awkward, yet entertaining dating stories. Laugh with us, cry with us, or just feel sorry for us.
We may even impart some dating advice… keep in mind… we are single.

Disclaimer: This is a personal blog. The opinions expressed here are solely our own and may change over time. Think of it as the “AS IS” section at your friendly swedish blue and yellow box store.

-BJ

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If I die on a tinder date…

I am THAT girl.  That girl that goes on deep woods mountain hikes with guys she has met on tinder. Too trusting? Absolutely! But that is part of what makes me likeable, right??!?!
I do screen them.
I always demand a phone convo and then an in person date before embarking on these journeys. That means I have done my due diligence! I have friends that have said otherwise, which prompted me to write this entry.  So…

If I die on a tinder date…

– tell J to water our plants
– hunt the guy down who did it and notify buzzfeed to post his tinder headshot so that other girls can blacklist him
– give away all my assets to a charitable foundation….oh wait, I don’t have any assets…
– publish these blog entries as “my memoirs” and try to make a buck
– erect a monument in my name.  Have it be a girl sitting on her bed – phone in hand.  The plaque should read, “next time he asks you to go for a hike, swipe left and notify your local police.” You know, something inspirational like that.
– tell my grandparents I got Ebola
– J you need to write a blog entry about how “she led a productive dating life”
– eat Kraft dinner once a week, in my honour.

That is all.

Yes I am on tinder. Yes I have deleted it once and re-installed the app.
I think I am on it because I don’t like ruling out any possibilities.
I know you’re familiar with the self-talk…”but my friend who has been single for years met her long term boyfriend on tinder.” Those needle in a haystack odds are so quick to convince us that we too can find our stud on a white horse!

Let me tell you, he isn’t on tinder.

I’ll tell you when I finally delete the app.

– B

 

LDR: The Best of Both Worlds

Long Distance Relationships… We are both BIG fans of LDR.

Why?

– We are “busy”!

convenience: This might seem a little harsh, but it’s the truth. When you need/want your significant other they are a phone call, email, or Skype session away. However, Friday night drinks with the girls? Offered last minute concert ticket? Weekend get away? Not a problem. There is no one waiting at home for you, or sad that there is only one ticket, or annoyed that you’re gone all weekend.

– we’re girls… we like to “communicate” aka in a LDR you are forced to express your feelings verbally and apparently that is a love language. (Our love language?)

– there is always something to look forward to aka the next time you will get to see the person. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

INDEPENDENCE! We are used to being independent… on our own. LDR is a smooth transition into a relationship.  Both parties get to continue living their every day lives.

selfishness: We attempted to hide this within independence, but when it comes down to it, we’re selfish. We like us! No shame. When you’re in an in person relationship your time table is no longer your time table.  You are constantly having to consult with your significant other about… everything! (Disclaimer: it’s not that we don’t want to do that… we get it’s a “joy” of being in a relationship, but when you’re in an LDR it’s not the same.)

romance: The fact that you do not get to see each other on a regular basis forces each of you to be more “romantic.” For example: sending flowers, posting lyrics that remind you of each other, sending memes, snail mail…

– almost all of the time you spend together is in a heightened emotional state, and not exactly real life. We all know relationships have a honeymoon period, it’s just not suppose to last years…

LDR: The best of both worlds!

All of this said, we acknowledge that they cannot last forever and eventually the LD part needs to come to an end. Unfortunately, the R in our LDR also seems to come to an end…

– BJ

Selfish I love you’s?

Disclaimer: I started writing this a few weeks ago to help myself work through some feelings…

After two months CC told me he loved me.
He knew he was not going to hear it back.
I kind of knew it was coming.

In some ways I think that was selfish of him. Although, in other ways I respect it.

Let’s pause for a minute and discuss falling in love.  Is there a love gestational period? Is two months too short? Can you really know someone and spend enough time with them to feel love? I’m super torn about this. I think it must be different for everyone. Who am I to judge CC’s feelings? Then again, I felt like CC didn’t know me that well… so how can he love me? I think he is in love with love. In love with the idea. In love with having a girlfriend, friend, someone there. So yes, I am judging. I’m judging because of the things I know about him and also my own experiences of falling and being in love.

Love is developed over time.
Love stems from trust.
Love feels like you’re floating…

I’m not in love. I was not in love.

I respect CC for owning his feelings. For being brave and confident enough to share them with me. However, as I sit here on Monday night typing this… I receive this text:

“I love you.  That is all.” 

STOP!!! What do you say? How do you say it? (I need your help lovely readers)

I’m not in love. I was not in love.

– J

This Is How We Date Now

We know we have been MIA lately, but perhaps it’s because we’ve been swiping right, taking selfies, filtering images, and pinning pins. This is how we date now. #truth #sad

Thought Catalog

iStockphotoiStockphoto / MmeEmil

We don’t commit now. We don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up pad thai on Seamless. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.

When we…

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WTF Wednesday

IMG_0573 Screen Shot 2015-02-24 at 10.53.23 PM


Our girlfriend C sent us this screenshot of the quality of guys she was getting from her POF profile.  Then B opened up her inbox!!!

Check out the date and time stamps.

This guy needs a new line. He also needs to learn #safetyfirst! Don’t be handing out your number like that!

WTF.

“Blue Wednesday”

That’s what CC called it after I ended things with him. He told me that he had heard on the radio that morning that February 11, 2015 was called “Blue Wednesday” because statistically speaking people were most likely to break up with their significant other three days before Valentine’s Day. What can I say? I’m a conformist? I have googled, but have yet to be able to back up  his or the radio stations claims. I did, however discover that the most common break up day for the entire year is two weeks before Christmas!

So CC and I are no longer.

It was a two month run where I found myself self sabotaging, pushing away, and generally being a bit of a jerk. Relationships = compromise and let me tell you, that’s hard. I like me. Plus, he was totally interfering with my non-existent workout schedule.  On the plus, I learned I’m loveable.

Jokes aside. He was great. He made me feel pretty, and my heart felt safe. We’re just at two different points in our lives right now.  He has decided he doesn’t want kids. I on the other hand am okay if I don’t have kids, I just don’t want that decision made for me. In fact, I don’t want to be making any decisions right now.  Even if we know my clock’s ticking (thanks mom) I want the choice. The ability to choose…

Fair? self doubt. self doubt. self doubt. self doubt.

– J